Why I Love Crystal Meth

Seems every year I get more and more allergic to the planet. But this year is special because the one medicine that actually works for me, Tylenol Severe Allergy, is no longer available because apparently certain people have found a way to turn it into crystal meth. So now I'm tired all the time from sneezing and I can't get my TSA fix and I'm hurtin' bad. I needs my connecshuns t'get daddy his pills b'fore I cut somebrutha.